This the second day of pounding headaches… are you okay? When you texted me again about it today, I called you hoping a couple of Christmas songs will help make you feel a little better. Unfortunately, singing “Merry Christmas Darling” didnt help out only because you were not familiar with that song. Oh well.. i tried.
So it’s 1:30am right now..still cant sleep but taking a break from watching episodes of The Walking Dead. An hour ago, I found you falling asleep while we were watching Eloise at Christmastime. That was fast babe lol we didnt even finish part one of the movie and you fell asleep. You look very peaceful and cute when you sleep so i didnt bother to wake you.. we can continue the movie if you want to in the morning :) Im gonna go watch another episode now. I should turn off my microphone while I watch these episodes. I dont want to wake you up haha
I’m sorry :( im sorry for what i said. the spur of the moment made it so that I would say those things..i know that my words were hurtful. I apologize for the things I said. It’s just that I was so emotional about the idea of being “replaced.” Thinking about it now: why would a new cell phone be something that could ever replace a person? I guess I was so caught up with the fact that i wasnt important enough for you. And now that I believe that this isnt the case, I feel stupid for acting this way. I should have believed but my emotions took over me. For me to think this way, i feel dumb, ashamed, and inconsiderate. this goes to show that I am a bad boyfriend and you deserve better from me. im sorry..can you please forgive me? Im done talking about this so can we just put this behind us and not bring this up again?
Your response…
babe you’re never gonna be “replaced”, you will always be my baby and you are so important to me and hurts me that you couldn’t see that. I’m sorry that ever said that word cuz in my heart there is no one or no thing that will ever take your place. I hope you know that. You’re not a bad boyfriend babe, you’re the best I ever had. I forgive you baby and yes lets put this behind us. I love you <3
Mistletoe Kissing Prank
What started off as a “sing soft kitty” text you sent this afternoon led to me singing you Christmas songs through the phone. Your period gave you a bloated tummy and a pounding headache. You said that you were chubby but c’mon this is certainly not the “real” you because of your period. I reassured you that you were just bloated and it will come and go when you do have your period (well, that settled that). Now about your headache…I explained to you that you were losing blood. Your request was for me to sing Christmas songs. I think I sang about four of them to you…I remember singing “The First Noel” “O Holy Night.” I believe it was my fourth and final song that put you to sleep..you didnt respond back after I finished the song. Hopefully your headache will wear off soon :)
After all of that, I realize it now that I didnt sing “Soft Kitty” to you haha
Opening Christmas Gifts
Today I opened the gifts you gave me for Christmas through Skype. You wanted to see my reaction to all three you gave to me. As I opened the bag, I always wondered why you didnt tape it shut instead of stapling it..but whatever haha I was laughing as I opened the bag to find numerous colors of blue, yellow, red, and white tissue paper. Too much tissue paper! In bubble wrap I found your first gift: a coffee mug with the quote “Carpe Diem.” The clue for this gift was “you will use this gift at least once a week.” You were right…of course I will definitely use this to drink my Sunday coffee. The second gift was hidden under a few more of the tissue paper: a black shirt. I looked at the front “you are..”? and you told me to turn it over. “..the serotonin of my life” was read on the back. Probably the best present of the three gifts pending the last gift that I still needed to find. Searching for the third gift I was beginning to feel worried not finding anything else under all of the tissue paper…I could not find your last gift. After three attempts searching the in its entirety for the third gift (a key chain), you kept saying that you for sure placed that gift into my bag. You were depressed looking for the key chain around the house and texting your friends asking them if they had it in their gift bags. But regardless, I’ve always loved your gifts…very thoughtful and meaningful. Thanks babe :)
Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never actually shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting, or laugh with you when you make a fool out of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather, they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy, or competition, but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song, or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid, it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where, before, it was infrequent, or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day always helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind, or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soulmate who will remain loyal until the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.
It’s been a long time coming since I’ve seen your face
And I’ve never went back trying to replace everything that I’ve had till my feet went numb
Praying like a fool that’s been on a run
Heart still beating but it’s not working
It’s like a million dollar phone that you just can’t ring
I reach out trying to love but I feel nothing
Yeah, my heart is numb
But with you
I feel again
Yeah with you
I can feel again
Yeah
Woo-hoo (x4)
I’m feeling better since you know me
I was a lonely soul but that’s the old me
It’s been a long time coming since I’ve seen your face
And I’ve never went back trying to replace everything that I broke till my feet went numb
Praying like a fool that just shot a gun
Heart still beating but it’s not working
It’s like a hundred thousand voices that just can’t sing
I reach out trying to love but I feel nothing
Oh my heart is numb
But with you
I feel again
And with you
I can feel again
But with you
(I’m feeling better since you know me)
I feel again
(I was a lonely soul but that’s the old me)
Yeah with you
(I’m feeling better since you know me)
I can feel again
(I was a lonely soul)
Woo-hooo
Woo-hooo (x4)
(I’m feeling better since you know me)
(I was a lonely soul, but that’s the old me)
(I’m feeling better since you know me)
(I was a lonely soul, but that’s the old me)
(I’m feeling better since you know me)
(I was a lonely soul, but that’s the old me)
I’m feeling better since you know me
I was a lonely soul but that’s the old me
A little wiser now but you show me
Yeah, I feel again
Feel again…
“Feel Again” ~ Onerepublic
Sometimes I ask this question to myself when you say that you and him are gonna hang out. Many things go through my mind
